Teenage Brain Damage – Hive and Nest

I have four teenagers. I knew when I got pregnant the fourth time in five years that one day this phase in life would come. I imagined the teenage years as being full of all sorts of drama and emotional outbursts, but honestly having teenage kids isn’t so much like that for us. Certainly there are times when I have no idea what happened to put these children in such a petulant mood but that doesn’t happen too often.  Instead the problem we face on a regular basis is stupidity; sheer, incomprehensible idiocy.

This seems to afflict boys a lot more than girls.  Let’s take tonight, for example: York, who is 18, was driving his brother Finn, who is 15, home from a church activity. They were also giving a ride to one of Finn’s friends.  They dropped off Finn’s friend and as Finn’s friend was getting out of the car, Finn got out of the back seat to get into the front seat. But York, being a teenage boy (and always ALWAYS in a hurry), didn’t notice his brother wasn’t actually in the car and drove away.

So I got a call from Finn saying that he was standing in front of his friend’s house and to please send York back. When York walked into the house a few minutes later I asked him where his brother was. “I don’t know. He was in the car and then he wasn’t.”

He was in the car and then he wasn’t.

Oh my gosh, how will this boy ever survive in the world?

When I told York what happened, he informed me that he wasn’t going back for his brother because it “wasn’t his fault” that Finn was left behind.

This, dear reader, is the other phrase that comes out of a teenager’s mouth at least once a day. Whatever happens, whether it’s flunking a class, running out of gas or not charging a cell phone it is never that child’s fault. Even if every shred of evidence points clearly to the teenager, it doesn’t matter. The teenager is always the victim.

Because I am the mother and because I am tired of such shenanigans, I sent York back to get his brother. When he got home I gave him a drug test. For real. Because either this kid is high or is totally dumb.

He was in the car and then he wasn’t.

Turns out he’s just dumb.

Every day I want to hit my head against the wall. I do not know how I am going to survive the next five years.