He loves me, he loves me not – Hive and Nest

 I just got back from the grocery store.  I asked Mister to pick up some eggs last night and he did.  Then he proceeded to use them all for breakfast this morning.  I got breakfast in bed, so I can’t exactly be mean about it.  But I was a little peeved about having to trudge over to the store right in the middle of cookie-baking.

Anyway, it was quite a frenzy in the grocery store floral department, it being Valentine’s Day and all.  I love the pink and red and cheesy hearts part of Valentine’s Day.  I do not, however, love the forced romanticism of the holiday.  It’s basically a holiday for people who don’t feel loved.  If your beloved is nice and thoughtful most of the time, then Valentine’s Day seems a little redundant.  If he’s (or she’s) nasty and inconsiderate, or worse (ignores you!) then Valentine’s Day is the time for him to pony up and show you what he really thinks.

The guy standing behind me in line made me realize one thing.  A man who gives a woman a single red rose is a chump.  Pure and simple.

Red roses = lack of imagination

Red roses are the McDonalds of flowers.  Yes, if you’re starving to death, McDonalds sounds pretty great.  Otherwise it’s the least imaginative, bland choice out there. (That being said, I love McDonalds fries.) Fellas, find out her favorite flower and give her those. Bonus points if they’re something really exotic or hard-to-find like gardenias or lilies-of-the-valley.

A single flower?  It looks like you went shopping at the Quickie mart.  Especially if it’s still wrapped in that cellophane cone.  Better to get a big bunch of cheap flowers than one overpriced rose.

I would also like to condemn any man who gets a grown woman a stuffed animal, but I have come to realize that there are some women who actually like stuffed animals.  I can’t imagine that I would ever be friends with one, but who knows.

 Ladies, if you’re still at a loss for a Valentine’s present for your man, just do what I do; give a nice-looking certificate for “Anything Goes” ess-ee-ex, if you catch my drift. Those guys always have some crazy stuff they’re thinking of in the backs of their minds. As long as it doesn’t involve other people, go for it.

Happy Valentines Day everybody!