Category 5 – Hive and Nest

I realize that I will probably be struck by lightning for saying this, but I’m a little disappointed that Gustav did not end up being a category 5 hurricane. There is some part of me–some twisted, evil part–that loves mayhem.

On a personal level I don’t want anyone’s home to be destroyed, or people to lose their lives.  On a personal level it breaks my heart.  But when I read the news, I really love to hear how terrible the flooding is on the Mississippi River in the Springtime.  Or how many tornados have hit the midwest.  I was so excited for another tsunami when there was that earthquake last week in Indonesia. (No dice.)

I can’t make sense of this part of my personality.  I was so sad about all those poor children who died in China in the earthquakes.  But I felt a little thrill every time the death toll would go higher.  Am I mobid?  Disturbed?  Does it have something to do with the fact that I love America’s Funnies Home Videos (People doubled over with pain? How hilarious!), but on a grander scale?

Keep in mind I want none of this for myself.  I lived in acute paranoia of tornados growing up in the Midwest.  I am petrified of earthquakes and fires.  I would just fall apart if I lost all my earthly possessions.

So what is the matter with me???