Worst: For some reason Independence Day is the big Jello holiday. I guess because the weather is hot and Jello is cold. At least I guess it’s cold. I don’t really know. I find it disgusting beyond belief. it is slippery and slimy and feels to me like eating sweet mucus. Ice cream bars. The […]
Ahh, pink cheeks. They have been popular as long as women have been alive. You’re welcome to pinch yours whenever you’d like some color (just like in all those Jane Austen movies). Or you could just use blush (my mom always called it “rouge” when I was young.) Really, it’s something that everyone should be […]
You probably have one of those rooms in your house that was OK a few years ago and you frankly haven’t given it another thought since then. That was my living room. When we moved into our house ten years ago (a record for us as the most time ever spent in one home) the […]
I was raised in Detroit. It was kind of gritty, with strip clubs and porno theatres next to the grocery store, and liquor shops (which we called “party stores”) on every corner. Oddly, we managed to live in a tiny little forgotten pocket that had a dirt road and tons of trees. As you can […]
The Kindergarten birthday party circuit has begun. And now that I’m on my sixth kindergartener I have made a decision: if I can’t drop my kid off and leave the party then we won’t be coming. Sorry. Your child’s birthday is not important to me. Isn’t it enough that we bought a present? Asking me […]
Hello and welcome to my newest blog feature: How-To Tuesday (or maybe I should call it “How-Tue Tuesday”. No? Too obnoxious?) I am going to spill my brain every Tuesday and show you how to do something that might just be new to you. I’ve got a few ideas up my sleeve but if you […]
My dog, Margaret, has developed a very annoying habit of squeaking and crying at night–particularly between the hours of 12:30 and 2 am. OK, so “habit” isn’t really the right word. She did it last night and she’s starting up again as I type. Our house is chock full of people so there is really […]
Ahh, pink cheeks. They have been popular as long as women have been alive. You’re welcome to pinch yours whenever you’d like some color (just like in all those Jane Austen movies). Or you could just use blush (my mom always called it “rouge” when I was young.) Really, it’s something that everyone should be […]
Hey, my house didn’t burn down last night! Great news! There are wildfires going all over the areas surrounding Austin (several miles away, but still . . . ) and we have many friends who have been spending the last couple of nights in hotels. We are far enough away that fire isn’t an immediate […]
We woke up, had breakfast at our flat and hurried out to take a tour of The Changing of the Guard. This is where the guards who are watching Buckingham palace switch places with the new guards. It’s a little ostentatious and a big deal and only happens every few days. And most importantly, it […]
One day last year I was killing myself on the rowing machine (I have realized that I hate HATE HATE running), watching Netflix. I clicked on a show called Addiction. It’s a really good, graphic non-fiction show about–surprise!–addicts and alcoholics. The woman on the show was talking about how low she had fallen because of […]
My dog, Margaret, has developed a very annoying habit of squeaking and crying at night–particularly between the hours of 12:30 and 2 am. OK, so “habit” isn’t really the right word. She did it last night and she’s starting up again as I type. Our house is chock full of people so there is really […]
Uh, I don’t know how to tell this to my Facebook Friends but I don’t care which Disney Princess they are. Or the results to questionnaires telling me what their ideal cut of diamond is, which 70’s T.V. character they are, the Woman from the Bible they most resemble, or the breakfast cereal/ice cream flavor/zoo […]
When we go to the park as a family the babies are happy playing on the slides and such, but for the bigs there is one option, and one option only: the swings. Back and forth is so lame. All that matters is launching themselves as high and as far as possible.